Lightening strikes twice in a row for me in this - I'm really getting excited about NYC's "Fall Fashion Week". I'm still no fashionista. No matter what the photos of me from my modeling days in the 80s may offer as contrary evidence. The point being that I'm trying to find my way down that absurd, generally appalling, yet still interesting catwalk so that I might peer upon the beast that is fashion with a capital "Fascism" (minus the "-ism"). And like what I presume to be 99.99% of those interested, I'm doing so long-distance. Finding my way to the exclusive online shows is a bit like digging for truffles in the Amazon. If any of you have suggestions for how to find the hottest shows attended only by those truly in the know - along with the savvy few sitting in darkened basements in what I picture as little more than their boxers - I'm all ears, dahling.

NOTE: One streaming avenue I saw noted in the WSJ recently that supposedly will offer these events online is KCD Worldwide (if you're out there trolling, lovely and amazing KCD folks...hey, how you doin'?). From what I can tell, they are in effect a PR firm representing the people who mostly wouldn't give you the time of day back in high school. Maybe if I keep asking, they'll let me in for part of it ("Mercedes-Benz Fall Fashion Week" runs from February 9th through the 16th). I mean it's not like I'm asking them to go to prom with me - just open the door a crack and let me see what people do when they're hanging out watching other people be awesome and beautiful. Actually, that sounds a little locker room creepy. If it works, what's the harm in that? Point being, I promise you won't even know I'm there and I won't make a sound. Well, aside from a few Tweets. Air kiss.

I've never been to Fashion Week. Any of them, anywhere - New York, Milan, Paris, Dubuque, Ulan Bator. Not that I'm unfashionable. I'll happily brag that my wife relies heavily upon me to make the call between prospective outfits she's contemplating. My skills are largely those of a fashion idiot savant, with the equivalent assurance of any former speechwriter currently working as a pundit for FOX News. But I'm now paying more attention thanks to my research for Pelting Out. Would I have gone to Anna Wintour's brainchild shoppanal - Fashion's Night Out 2011 - last night in NYC? Yes, I think I would have braved the crowds. Not for the Bieber, mind you. For the actual nuts and bolts of the fashion. It would have given me at least a slightly more hands-on sense of what may be tried on at China's equivalent Fall fashion features later this month. Oddly enough, I expect to see some of that public rendering when I head to the Far East a week from today. Because the only thing more fascinating but way out of my comfort zone than going to some gala fashion soirees in New York or Europe is to do so in a rapidly developing nation. Add in some of tangential thinking I've been doing, thanks in part to a NYTimes piece on China's appetite for collecting Western ar t and you've got a case of cultural consumption leapfrog that's wonderfully mind-boggling. If you're intrigued by what this might all mean and what I might bring to bear on the discussion, check back. Real observations - not just these hints of what might be upcoming - are promised in easy to consume chunks of cheese on an unpretentious platter.

Until the next page turns...may your own daughter's new soccer season's schedule not parallel your own NFL team's broadcast schedule.